Bennington College’s End of the World May be Actual End of the World
Students walking by reportedly, "Feel fine."
Since starting Bennington in the fall, the vista beyond Commons Lawn–colloquially known as the End of the World–has been Freddie Neatchee ’28’s favorite spot to come for quiet contemplation and reflection.
“I like to gaze upon the Green Mountains as I think,” said Neatchee, a Philosophy student from Germany.
However, this term, Neatchee noticed something disturbing about his favorite spot.
"One day, I was gazing into the End of the World, and I felt it gazing back into me," said Neatchee. "Then my phone started sliding toward the vista on its own. That's when I knew."
Neatchee's subsequent investigation revealed troubling evidence: objects disappearing when tossed over the edge into the field below, light bending around the edges, and time itself slowing down near the viewpoint.
"After comparing my calculations with gravitational anomaly reports, I was forced to conclude that the End of the World contains...an actual black hole," said Neatchee, now wearing a tinfoil-lined beanie to "prevent quantum entanglement."
Buildings and Grounds has reported a 43% increase in missing lawn chairs, which Neatchee insists "aren't being stolen—they're being consumed."
Other students seemed unconcerned. Music student Mikey Stipe '27, when pressed for comment, merely shrugged.
"I feel fine," Stipe said, apparently unaware his watch was running slower than everyone else's—another observation in Neatchee's growing collection of evidence.